Unexpected blog update: note on social and physical transition of a transgender individual

Η κοινωνική μετάβαση ενός τρανς ατόμου μπορεί να πάρει πάρα πολύ καιρό, ενώ η σωματική – όταν αρχίσει – μπορεί να είναι πολύ πιο γρήγορη. Το γεγονός ότι ένα τρανς άτομο δεν μοιάζει στερεοτυπικά με το γένος (gender) με το οποίο αυτοπροσδιορίζεται, δεν σημαίνει ότι δεν είναι αυτό το γένος τους. Είναι προσωπικό ζήτημα και όχι κάτι που αποφασίζουν οι άλλοι. Έχω προσωπική εμπειρία τέτοιων συζητήσεων, όπου κάποιοι είχαν κατηγορήσει ένα τρανς άτομο ότι «δεν μοιάζει αρκετά τρανς» ή «δεν μου φαίνεσαι άνδρας/γυναίκα εμένα». Εάν το σκεφτείτε λίγο θα καταλάβετε γιατί είναι λάθος. Επίσης, όταν είσαι τρανς μπορεί να πονάει να σκέφτεσαι το παρελθόν –ειδικά όταν βλέπεις παλιές φωτογραφίες- αλλά επίσης βοηθάει να δεις πόσο μακριά έχεις ταξιδέψει.

For a trans person, social transition may take ages, while physical transition - when it starts - can be faster. Just because a trans person doesnt "traditionally" look like the gender they identify with, that doesn't mean they are not of that gender. That's a personal thing and not something for others to decide. I have personal experience of conversations where people accused a trans person of "not being trans enough" (?!) or "you don't look like a man/woman to me". If you think a bit about it, you'll understand why this is wrong. Also, it might hurt looking back, when you're trans, but it also helps you realize how far you've travelled.

PS. Yes, I know it's almost been 2 years since I last updated :/
PPS. I can't even promise I'll post again soon, but I'll try. So many things have happened since I last posted. I don't even know if people read my blog anymore. Do you? Leave a comment if you do :)

International Transgender Day of Visibility - Διεθνης Μερα Τρανς.. αμ.. τετοιας;

So, apparently today is International Transgender Day of Visibility.

Since to me that day means nothing (because I have to talk and explain and advocate about trans issues *every* day of my life) I'll just say this:

Before you make the mistake of offending someone with your questions and comments, pause and think. That's a universal thing that goes without saying, it applies to all. But it's a constant problem trans people face, people's ignorance.

Respect the identity of a trans person. Respect them, don't ask questions about "real" names. Their real name is the name they will give you. Use their preferred pronouns. Don’t ask them questions you wouldn’t ask people you don’t know (which means NO genital questions, no bathroom, no sex questions). Don't abuse them verbally and/or physically because you can't understand them. Pay attention and learn. As you ought to do with anything that you don't know about.

Thank you.

Ok, σημερα βλεπω ότι είναι η Διεθνης Μερα Τρανς (αμ… πώς  το λενε τωρα αυτό; Το «ορατοτητας» και «επιγνωσης» δεν είναι σωστα…). Τελος παντων, σημερα είναι μια ακομα παγκοσμια μερα για να θυμαστε ότι υπαρχουν τρανς ατομα. Για μενα αυτή η μερα δεν σημαινει τιποτα (γιατι πρεπει να μιλαω και να εξηγω κάθε μερα) οποτε θα πω μονο αυτό:

Πριν κανετε το λαθος να προσβαλλετε καποιον με τις ερωτησεις σας και τα σχολια, σταματηστε και σκεφτειτε. Αυτό είναι κατι αδιαμφισβητητο που ισχυει γενικα για ολους. Αλλα είναι ένα συνεχες προβλημα για τους τρανς ανθρωπους, το ότι ο κοσμος δεν ξερει.

Να σεβεστε την ταυτοτητα των αλλων. Να τους σεβεστε, να μην ρωτατε για το «κανονικο» τους ονομα, το ονομα που σας λενε είναι το κανονικο τους. Να χρησιμοποιειτε τις αντωνυμιες που προτιμουν, στο φυλο που σας εχουν πει. Μην τους ρωτατε πραγματα που δεν θα ρωτουσατε καποιον που δεν ξερετε (όχι ερωτησεις για τα γεννητικα τος οργανα, όχι ερωτησεις για το ποια τουαλετα χρησιμοποιουν, όχι ερωτησις για το πώ κανουν σεξ).Μην τους παρενοχλειτε, λεκτικα και/ή σωματικα επειδη δεν τους καταλαβενετε. Δωστε προσοχη σε ο,τι σας λενε και μαθετε από αυτό. Όπως οφειλετε να κανετε για το οτιδηποτε που δεν κατεχετε ως αντικειμενο.

Σας ευχαριστω.

Transphobia online by LGBTqia people: an incident

I stumbled upon a blog, while looking about FtM trans stuff.
The blog was about people’s stories about why they didn’t transition.
So the post I was reading was about T (testosterone) and its effects. I knew about most of the things written in there but, as I was reading, the language was getting more and more… off putting.

The post was written kinda like “you may know this about T, but I’ll tell you THE TRUTH!”. I won't link it because it was rude and verbally abusive, so were the comments.

One thing that unsettled me was that it claimed that T wont make a FtM person’s voice deeper, but rather make them sound like a little person (it even said “midget”) of either gender. The sources the post indicated were “lots of people on YouTube say so”.

The language continued getting more and more.. unkind, claiming that bio males have a pungent body odour and urine and that there’s a “generic trans male type” (chubby and apparently unattractive). Also apparently, people on T want cock in their mouths to prove their masculinity and also feel the urge to rape women.

Eventually, I realized this wasn’t a blog for FtMs that refused to transition, but rather a butch lesbian/tomboy blog. They claimed that doctors “make” transmen transition and take T and they said that people shouldn’t be jumping on the “trans bandwagon”.

Also, I browsed the comments, where I saw this little gem:

It’s sad but true. I think being “Trans” has become a fad over the last few years, and people are infecting eachother, especially over the internet. Of course the medical world is happy to have willing test subjects to see what the long-term effects of testosterone on the female body will be. I guess I feel sorry for most of them (FTM’s) who will never be men, no matter how much they kid themselves now.

I haven’t read anything more transphobic written by an LGBTqia person ever.

Trans people, I dont know why people may have a problem with us, but if you are reading something that’s written like this, I suggest you close the site immediately. These people are not your friends and they are NOT offering you advice.


PS./disclaimer: I have NOTHING against butch les people or tomboys or ANYONE. But NOONE has the right to tell me I’ll never be a man. NO ONE.

PPS. I owe you a post about the things I've been doing since I left Greece^^; Need to get organized to write that :)

PPPS. Wanna link that on tumblr? Here's a handy link:  http://harrysaxonpm.tumblr.com/post/57828629016/transphobia-online-by-lgbtqia-people-an-incident

What a relief! Harry isn't dead (yet)!

Yes! (or Alas!) after several months from my last post (April 22nd) I'm posting again to say:

I am not dead yet. It's true that I'm going through the toughest, most difficult phase of my life, but I'm trying as to keep calm and bite my upper (even though it's usually the lower) lip hard and keep going. No, I am not going to post a "Keep calm and..." poster, even though I have made one in the past. You're safe for now.

So, what happened during those months, you say? (bear with me, these are not going to be in order)

I've (at last) made a PDF folio. I think I'm kinda proud of it for now. Behold:

Open publication - Free publishing - More art

I made a Facebook Page for my work. You can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/HarryAsaphSaxonART

 
If you have a Facebook account please Like and share if you like my work even a bit.

I haz more business cards now!
(in case you want some to give to people, drop me a line)

My colouring work was featured in Fuctart online magazine. I am grateful they asked to feature me, but I spent some time making the pages I sent them and they just cropped and used some images without credits. Bit cross with that. Feel free to register and download the latest issue (#18) here: http://www.fuctart.gr/en/component/content/article/1-issues/138-fuctart-issue-18.html

I have started therapy. It's for my transition and also mending some very deep wounds my soul has, so, either way, helpful. I'm trying to become a better person, a one that doesn't break down that easily and, lately, this happened a lot, so, work in progress there.

Anyway, I shouldn't write these things, but it's an artist's blog and my personal blog, so yes, why not.

I have made a mastectomy fund. Preparing for the future of my transition. It's very very hard (possibly impossible) as to save money for that now, so if you please have something to spare, I'd be forever grateful. (You can request a sketch if you donate, I'd be happy to make one, or commission me ^^)

Crowdfunding

I am now 30 years old, my fab girlfriend had her birthday 2 days ago and we’re now almost 1,5 year together. Yay us. Also:
My hair's all salt and pepper now. Mature much?

By the way: my friend Lu gave me a tie for my birthday, making it officially the 10^th tie I have. I am very proud of my tie collection (8 silk ones, 2 synthetic). This tie is the bee’s knees.

Also: my friend Lu took me by the ear and we went to London and then Sheffield to see John Simm perform in Harold Pinter’s Betrayal at The Crucible. I popped my British theatre cherry with my beloved (and utter bloody northern BASTARD) John Simm. I’m happy I lived through that and didn’t melt on the spot. The theatre was great, the play was great (I luv Pinter), John was great, the weather wasn’t that great (bloody soddy sun!) and oh, I met the TARDIS at last. And 2 friends of mine from deviantArt, Jemma and Alice :D we shared a pint and I was so glad to actually meet them.

My friend Sofia got into the Athens school of Graphic Design. I was so glad but I couldn’t express that because I’m a jerk (I was really depressed).

I got acquainted to a kitten I thought was going to be my future cat, but didn’t make it, it was terribly ill. Some people called it Joe, but I wanted to name it Koschei. RIP Kos.

I attended Athens Pride and the first Thess Pride. It’s just Pride, people, not Gay Pride. There. 

I made a sketch of the Ninth Doctor and one of the Eleventh Doctor. Here are both of them, hope you like:

That's all for now, I think. Hope I'll update again soon. Take care of yourselves and think a little bit of me. Ta!

Merry Christmas and life

Took me almost a year to post something here. I was avoiding it. I think I'm more or less the only person reading this. But I don't care. I am slowly going to be using this blog again... I changed the layout and some things... Now, then.

I have been very busy this last year. Also been unemployed a lot. Learned new things, got to know new people and know some old ones better. Became more social, less social, got acquainted to all sorts of new ways to get depressed, got frustrated over the way things are, the economy, people, my country. It's been a soddy year but also a good one. Some things, I wouldn't change for the world. Met wonderful people, stopped talking to some.. not that wonderful, managed to be able to become a bit happier and control my temper better. I've also grown, got a tattoo and lost some weight :P
Now, to the really juicy part.




Dear friends, acquaintances and people that know me too little, I wish you a merry Christmas.
It’s supposed to be the time when we let kindness guide us and speak our hearts, open up, show we care and other emotional things like that, because it’s Christmas and it’s ok to be emotional during the holidays.

Some of you already know, some maybe suspect that, some/most don’t know and don’t care about this, but I have to say it, because sometimes enough is enough and one can’t and shouldn’t hold things inside for THAT long. Eventually, these things evolve and there’s always a time when things ought to be explained. So this is me explaining.

It’s been too long since I stopped identifying as female. I may haven’t told anyone at first, but it is how it is. Regardless of whether you understand this or not, please, show me the courtesy of calling me by my chosen name, that’s Harry or Victor (mostly Harry), and using male pronouns.
Using my birth name and female pronouns, when you already know this, is considered rude and a bit hurtful. Also, calling me a “tranny” or a “he/she” would result in permanent block/delete and possibly (or definitely) some rudeness from my side.

If you can’t, please, don’t call me anything. It’s much better and hurts less. But, remember always, I am still the same person that you know, with the same personality, regardless of name and gender. You don’t have to show your extreme support or opposition towards that. You won’t change who I am. Also, I know it’s awkward sometimes. You don’t have to discuss this with me. Maybe the matter will come up during casual conversation or not.

Thank you very much, I hope you all have a great time during the holidays.

PS.
If you're my parents, namely dad, who likes surfing on the internet and checking my sites:
I don't want to talk about this. Maybe I will in the future. Maybe I won't.
Don't ask me to talk about this or translate it, if you find it.
There's nothing you can say that will change my mind. My life and your life will continue as it is and at some point, changes will occur. The signs are all there, you just never saw it this way.

PPS.
I really dislike this blog's name at the moment. I'll prolly have to change blogs at some point. Again....
[EDIT: Fixed that harryasaphsaxon.blogspot.com ]

PPPS.
I am reposting last year's Xmas pic. Yay Greece. Yay train-wrecks.